Here we go again!

Happy B-day

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 21:03:13 GMT

Just wishing you the best for your B-Day. Hope you have plans and lots of fun.

Lil Mizz

lost time

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 15:30:27 GMT

I have lost track of time and I wish that it was a good thing. It's not. Work and home are so busy anymore I feel that I need to run and then I where do I run to? Missing friends and family. Unsure of what is around the corner for the next go round. Well, that sums up the last 7 weeks that I have not posted. Although not sure who is reading this if anyone. Oh well! Hasta!

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:42:03 GMT

I missed you today. I was a bit lost in that big place without seeing your face. No one to smile at me. No one to make me laugh. I can't beleive your gone. Just up and left. I hope to see you soon. You know who you are.

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:23:16 GMT

My head is killing me and I have not slept well for so long. I want to die. Calling death headquarters. I need a room. I can't keep my mind on work. I need something to make it all better.

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:09:13 GMT

What a long week this seems to be. I have been working so much to keep the kids and family together and make sure that everyone is doing well that I forget to worry about me. My son is in jounior high this year and he is play the chelo for now and will soon be on the bass. He seems to like it. I hope that he sticks with it. Our new dog is doing good. And the house well you know how those things go. Keep the smiles on.

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 03:34:42 GMT

Strange to home all day and yet I feel like I did a ton of things. My house is clean and I made food and the kids are in bed and I am not sleepy. Well it's getting late and I should let the house go to sleep. Hope everyone who reads this has a cool night it should be nice tonight. Goodnight all!

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:58:11 GMT

I have been lost for awhile. I found my password and now I can say a few words to those whom might listen. I have not made friends in the dear community. But I still have hope.

Death dark and cold !

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 00:06:56 GMT

If found the photos of the boys today. I was looking for some other older photos and I came across socorro and Yeyo's funeral photos. As my eyes filled with tears and I realize that I'm crying uncontrolably I start to shake and cry harder. good thing I'm alone in the computer room and no one can see. There are times that I really miss my brother in law Yeyo. He would bearly be 27 years old this year. *Snifle Snifle* I was sort of thrown back into that year they both died and the night from hell that we spent waiting to hear. It's really a shame so young and loved. I do miss him.

Sunshine and smiles!

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 13:44:17 GMT

It's a new day and even though my eyes are swollen and hurt I can smile and say good morning world. Thanks for the lessons learned and we move on. Today I take my son to see a movie as part of his birthday present. He is 9 yrs old. His birthday was yesterday, but because we had so many things (baptismals) we are celebrating it today. I will get a cake and we are going to the movies. Let you know how the silver sufer turns out.

I should of just stayed home.

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 05:04:43 GMT

I always think that some cares about me. But the truth is that I'm not cared for at all. I always leave laura's house feeling like an ass. She has a unique way of making me feel like I should of just stayed home. I'm supose to be one of her close friends and yet every time that I go to one of her functions I'm made to feel like dirt. Or less than dirt. I'm heart broken and sad. I just never learn. I think it will be different this time and that is aways a joke. Being the god parents of my son was supose to make us close and I realized tonight that I made a huge mistake and that I don't belong in her world and more that she wants me there.

I always try to impress her when I should just worry about me. Laugh at me. Make me feel like crap. I'll be okay in the morning. As if anyone could care. Tear drops on my pillow and down my face well everyone is sleeping and no will know that I cried. Lonely and sad.

It's Friday

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 11:05:53 GMT

Good morning world. It's friday. I hope that the day goes by fast. It's alittle after 5:00 am and I have been awake for about 20 mins. Lazy and don't want to work. I wish I would win the lottery. Fat chance. Gotta shower before I go to work.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 02:45:28 GMT

A tale from the heart....

Here alone in my room I can hear your voice. I close my eyes and I can see your face. I feel your strong arms, But when I open my eyes I am alone. Where have you gone? Why have you left me here all alone with only my lonely memorries? Memorries of us. that haunt my soul. It has been years sence we last talked. But you have touched me so deeply that I can't forget you. I long for the day that my sad eyes will see your soft and loving face once more. I want to hear your voice and look into your honey brown eyes. Your kiss is the one thing that in all these long and intense years past I have never been able to forget. Your strong hands playing with my hair. The teasing smile of happiness and love we once shared is all but a dream. A dream forgotten and lost in time. Can you hear me from where you are now? Do you see me everyday and wonder how it would be if we could be together again? off in the distance I see the man that I once cared about and loved with all my heart. That was you. I pray that your soul is well and that soon we will be together again. Soul to soul. heart to heart, life to life. I miss you. Stay in the sunlight and don't be afraid. I will always be here for you. Sir smiles! Red roses for you with love.

The Porn stuff

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:02:45 GMT

I'm a few days behind in my journal. This past weekend was a should we say colorful. My younger son this weekend found a porn magazine. OMG!! I almost lost it. He is nine. His bedroom door was shut and when I called him he just said yeah mom. At first I was a little confused and then it hit me all at once, Hey his room door is shut (what is he doing?). What is he hiding? Well go up and knock on the door and open it. Yes young men need to know that they are respected and I asked beofore I opened. BUUUT! I open and there stands my 9 yr old in his boxer shorts wide eyed and scared. At first I look around the room to see if he is alone or if someone is hiding in the closet. Nobody there, he is alone. Now that is really strange. This is the guy that needs to get in to as much trouble as possible. Well in my brief search of the room I found nothing. So started to walk out shutting the door behind me and half way down the stairs it hits me like a ton of bricks. What was that on the bed? I saw something and his eyes went straight it when I came in. So I go back. Knock and go in. Straight to the bed. Where I find the porn mag velvet. And of course I almost died looking at what he had been looking at. OMG!! A** and Ti**s and D**k everywhere. So asked him where he got it. I found it in the trash pile down the road. So I take it and tell him to go out and play. He puts on his clothes and leaves. Now all the stuff you could think of is going through my mind. What did he see? What didn't he see. So later I talked to him about what he saw and what he thought he saw. He said it was girls showing off. Boyz!! That was just saturday.

What a night!

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:50:56 GMT

What a night I had last night. I went to bed at 10:30 or so and just as I'm falling a sleep down the block a firetruck shows up. A firetruck that I heard in my sleep. Off in a distance low and rumbly. Getting closer and louder, high pitch what the hell sound. Then all of the sudden boom! Air breaks and coming to a halt and doors, Boots on the pavement. Loud voices and me out of bed and running for the window. Can't see a thing ru up stairs looking still half a sleep and scared to all hell. I see cops, firetruck, ambulance. People every where. Lights flashing. Rubbing my eyes I watch for a bit and then I realize I'm half naked at the bedroom window on the second floor of the house and my night shorts are falling off. Needless to say I go back to my room and try to go back to sleep. Lay there and listen to my man snore for what seemed to be forever. He didn't hear the firetruck or the cops or even me running for dear life to who knows where half out of my mind in a dream state. Clodding up the stairs and tripping over the kids toys that litter the hallway. OUCH!! Son of a buck tooth rabbit. SOB. He is dead! Is he dead? I should try to wake him up maybe he could go and help the firefighters. Sure! Well long about now it's 12:00 in the morning and I have not been able to close my eyes and my lower back is hurting. So I get up again and take an couple of advil to easy the pain in my back. Mind you that I had taken 4 before I went to bed and they just sort of eased the pain. Now I take another 4 and think to myself If I'm luck enought that my man might wake up and see me totally unconcious he'll call the same fire department that has just left our street. And I will still be alive. Sleep comes so slow I pray for death. Finally, I think I went out like around 1:00 or 1:30. Only to wake up a 4:44am to send the hubby to work. Time has killed me and now that I'm wake I can't sleep again.

My frist post

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:20:20 GMT

Hello to all! Saludos! This is my first post in this LJ. I'm a 36 yr old mother of 3 (total monsters) children and mother of 2 dogs. 8yr old fabio and 5mo. old crystal. I have been married for 10yrs this Sept. I love flowers and the color purple. All shades. I may need a little help using this journal I have never posted like this before. I love that I can change the colors to what I like.