Here we go again!Tuesday, January 15, 20082:02PM - Happy B-dayJust wishing you the best for your B-Day. Hope you have plans and lots of fun. Saturday, December 1, 20079:25AM - lost timeI have lost track of time and I wish that it was a good thing. It's not. Work and home are so busy anymore I feel that I need to run and then I where do I run to? Missing friends and family. Unsure of what is around the corner for the next go round. Well, that sums up the last 7 weeks that I have not posted. Although not sure who is reading this if anyone. Oh well! Hasta! Wednesday, October 10, 20077:39PMI missed you today. I was a bit lost in that big place without seeing your face. No one to smile at me. No one to make me laugh. I can't beleive your gone. Just up and left. I hope to see you soon. You know who you are. Thursday, September 13, 20077:20AMMy head is killing me and I have not slept well for so long. I want to die. Calling death headquarters. I need a room. I can't keep my mind on work. I need something to make it all better. Current mood:  sickWednesday, September 5, 20078:04PMWhat a long week this seems to be. I have been working so much to keep the kids and family together and make sure that everyone is doing well that I forget to worry about me. My son is in jounior high this year and he is play the chelo for now and will soon be on the bass. He seems to like it. I hope that he sticks with it. Our new dog is doing good. And the house well you know how those things go. Keep the smiles on. Current mood:  cheerfulThursday, August 23, 20079:31PMStrange to home all day and yet I feel like I did a ton of things. My house is clean and I made food and the kids are in bed and I am not sleepy. Well it's getting late and I should let the house go to sleep. Hope everyone who reads this has a cool night it should be nice tonight. Goodnight all! Current mood: cheerfulWednesday, August 22, 200712:55PMI have been lost for awhile. I found my password and now I can say a few words to those whom might listen. I have not made friends in the dear community. But I still have hope. Friday, June 29, 20077:00PM - Death dark and cold !If found the photos of the boys today. I was looking for some other older photos and I came across socorro and Yeyo's funeral photos. As my eyes filled with tears and I realize that I'm crying uncontrolably I start to shake and cry harder. good thing I'm alone in the computer room and no one can see. There are times that I really miss my brother in law Yeyo. He would bearly be 27 years old this year. *Snifle Snifle* I was sort of thrown back into that year they both died and the night from hell that we spent waiting to hear. It's really a shame so young and loved. I do miss him. Current mood: gloomySunday, June 24, 20078:39AM - Sunshine and smiles!It's a new day and even though my eyes are swollen and hurt I can smile and say good morning world. Thanks for the lessons learned and we move on. Today I take my son to see a movie as part of his birthday present. He is 9 yrs old. His birthday was yesterday, but because we had so many things (baptismals) we are celebrating it today. I will get a cake and we are going to the movies. Let you know how the silver sufer turns out. Current mood: peacefulSaturday, June 23, 200711:51PM - I should of just stayed home.I always think that some cares about me. But the truth is that I'm not cared for at all. I always leave laura's house feeling like an ass. She has a unique way of making me feel like I should of just stayed home. I'm supose to be one of her close friends and yet every time that I go to one of her functions I'm made to feel like dirt. Or less than dirt. I'm heart broken and sad. I just never learn. I think it will be different this time and that is aways a joke. Being the god parents of my son was supose to make us close and I realized tonight that I made a huge mistake and that I don't belong in her world and more that she wants me there. Current mood: lonelyFriday, June 22, 20076:02AM - It's FridayGood morning world. It's friday. I hope that the day goes by fast. It's alittle after 5:00 am and I have been awake for about 20 mins. Lazy and don't want to work. I wish I would win the lottery. Fat chance. Gotta shower before I go to work. Current mood:  blahTuesday, June 19, 20079:44PMA tale from the heart.... Current mood:  nostalgicMonday, June 18, 20078:45PM - The Porn stuffI'm a few days behind in my journal. This past weekend was a should we say colorful. My younger son this weekend found a porn magazine. OMG!! I almost lost it. He is nine. His bedroom door was shut and when I called him he just said yeah mom. At first I was a little confused and then it hit me all at once, Hey his room door is shut (what is he doing?). What is he hiding? Well go up and knock on the door and open it. Yes young men need to know that they are respected and I asked beofore I opened. BUUUT! I open and there stands my 9 yr old in his boxer shorts wide eyed and scared. At first I look around the room to see if he is alone or if someone is hiding in the closet. Nobody there, he is alone. Now that is really strange. This is the guy that needs to get in to as much trouble as possible. Well in my brief search of the room I found nothing. So started to walk out shutting the door behind me and half way down the stairs it hits me like a ton of bricks. What was that on the bed? I saw something and his eyes went straight it when I came in. So I go back. Knock and go in. Straight to the bed. Where I find the porn mag velvet. And of course I almost died looking at what he had been looking at. OMG!! A** and Ti**s and D**k everywhere. So asked him where he got it. I found it in the trash pile down the road. So I take it and tell him to go out and play. He puts on his clothes and leaves. Now all the stuff you could think of is going through my mind. What did he see? What didn't he see. So later I talked to him about what he saw and what he thought he saw. He said it was girls showing off. Boyz!! That was just saturday. Current mood:  distressedSaturday, June 16, 20077:32AM - What a night!What a night I had last night. I went to bed at 10:30 or so and just as I'm falling a sleep down the block a firetruck shows up. A firetruck that I heard in my sleep. Off in a distance low and rumbly. Getting closer and louder, high pitch what the hell sound. Then all of the sudden boom! Air breaks and coming to a halt and doors, Boots on the pavement. Loud voices and me out of bed and running for the window. Can't see a thing ru up stairs looking still half a sleep and scared to all hell. I see cops, firetruck, ambulance. People every where. Lights flashing. Rubbing my eyes I watch for a bit and then I realize I'm half naked at the bedroom window on the second floor of the house and my night shorts are falling off. Needless to say I go back to my room and try to go back to sleep. Lay there and listen to my man snore for what seemed to be forever. He didn't hear the firetruck or the cops or even me running for dear life to who knows where half out of my mind in a dream state. Clodding up the stairs and tripping over the kids toys that litter the hallway. OUCH!! Son of a buck tooth rabbit. SOB. He is dead! Is he dead? I should try to wake him up maybe he could go and help the firefighters. Sure! Well long about now it's 12:00 in the morning and I have not been able to close my eyes and my lower back is hurting. So I get up again and take an couple of advil to easy the pain in my back. Mind you that I had taken 4 before I went to bed and they just sort of eased the pain. Now I take another 4 and think to myself If I'm luck enought that my man might wake up and see me totally unconcious he'll call the same fire department that has just left our street. And I will still be alive. Sleep comes so slow I pray for death. Finally, I think I went out like around 1:00 or 1:30. Only to wake up a 4:44am to send the hubby to work. Time has killed me and now that I'm wake I can't sleep again. Current mood:  lethargicFriday, June 15, 200710:10PM - My frist postHello to all! Saludos! This is my first post in this LJ. I'm a 36 yr old mother of 3 (total monsters) children and mother of 2 dogs. 8yr old fabio and 5mo. old crystal. I have been married for 10yrs this Sept. I love flowers and the color purple. All shades. I may need a little help using this journal I have never posted like this before. I love that I can change the colors to what I like. Current mood: peaceful |
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